I was taking a class on human sexuality a few semesters ago and one of the topics that we covered was rape and sexual violence. During the discussion several of the females in my class said that they feel uncomfortable doing things that I take for granted (like walking alone at night through a city).
I was sort of shocked as being a victim of rape was never something that entered my mind. So...I figured I would ask for a broader range of opinions than the 5 or so females in this class. Has the threat of sexual violence changed your behavior or altered your life in someway? Is this a constant fear?
How has the threat of sexual violence changed your life?
for the sake of full disclosure, I'm male, divorced, 5 kids, 4 of them are daughters. I have custody of all of them.
Yes it effects me. the uniform crime statistics for the department of justice were that 2 out of 3 women would be sexually assulted before they were 18 years of age. I have 4 daughters. I remember the way boys acted in the locker room in junior high and high school. I have seen the way they act in collage too. I'm still wondering if they ever grow up? With the mainstream acceptance of porn, the problem only seems to be on the rise. I have reduced the activities of my children on more than one occasion. I have said no to some things outright. I have said no you can't go unless I'm there too. They didn't like that. But I'm the dad and thats the way it is.
I've seen too many women who are never %26quot;normal%26quot; again after being assualted. I don't want to see my daughters go through anything like that. Its easier to protect them than to heal them.
Not the perspective you were looking for is it?
AS a side note, I have a concealed carry permit, and I keep a shotgun close at hand when I'm home. I have enough ammo to start a full scale war in a 3rd world country. The bio dad of some of my children has a court order to stay away. Its a single sheet of paper. I perfer something with a little more substance. I go to the range and practice often. He has shown up twice. After the second time, I made it clear that the 3rd time would result in death. I have not seen him since. Funny how he has more respect for me with my pistol than he has for a judge's order.
How has the threat of sexual violence changed your life?
Sexual violence has changed my life. I am more careful about where I go and with who. I always lock my doors to my home and car. I lovk the car doors as soon as I get in the car, and I check my back seats. I check through the house all the time, and always leave a light on, so I'm never in the dark. I used to shake if a man would touch me. I never leave home alone at night, and I've bought a gun since then as well. I'm very paranoid.
Yes i do not walk by myself at night anymore i take my big dog with me he is an irish wolfhound and he weighs 170 lbs. I doubt anybody would mess with me with him around. But yes i do not walk anymore at night by myself. I always lock my car doors when I am going somewhere . I think it will always be in the back of my mind because of the society we live in nowa days.
Yes there is always the feeling of having to look over your shoulder. I always make sure if I am walking on my own..I have sometime of weapon even if its just carry my car keys in my hands so I have something.
It is always on your mind anyone touches you or having sex with anohter person. If someone is standing to close to you in a store or grocery store I get snappy and tell them to step back but of course they think I am just being a witch but I can't stand enclosed places anymore.
When I am in a large group, I feel like its written all over my face and that everyone knows. Its a feel of being asamed constantly for something that was out of your control and beyond what your emotions are capable of handling
Its under your skin and you can still feel it on your skin even though for me it was almost 20 years ago. I think about it everyday and it haunts your dreams.
I PITY the fool who would attack me! I have never taken a class but I am a ninja warrior in my own mind! No one likes to think that they would be attacked or forced to do something--loss of ANY kind of control is scary.
As far as walking alone at night, I think it's wise to be cautious and be aware of your surroundings. Have some idea in your mind of what you might do if there is any kind of encounter...HI-YAH!
it's somewhere deep in my head.It never happened to me(thank God) but I don't feel comfortable at all walking around downtown Toronto in the evening(and I am 5'10%26quot; tall with black belt in kick boxing and pretty good training in kendo...).Honestly,I think I am more afraid of being robbed or attacked than raped.This fear is not constant for me,I realized I am scared only at the places or streets I don't know very well(fear of the unknown)because I don't know the kind of people living there,in the area where I live or in my country Czech rep. when I come for visit I don't feel scared at all.And it's stupid of course,you never know,there can be somebody waiting behind the corner of my house...!
I am not at all friendly with different males who I don't know,
men can easily overpower women.
It is very dangerous to go too many places alone, accept invitations from strangers...
If women aren't like that and too trusting and accepting,
you hear about finding their bodies in a ditch often-- or never finding the body ever.
--
As I've grown older, I've need to be careful. Being a teenager is dangerous if you aren't aware.
Even though I felt safe with my now ex, outside of my house and away from my family and friends, the threat is real even in a quiet little town. One person my friend and I suspect to be a stalker would walk by a booth we were selling items at, and would vanish as soon as we tried to point him out to any adult. He didn't have a workers outfit on, and I was paranoid about it for days because you realize how dangerous the world outside your front door is.
i know some women who were raped
when they were kids and it is linked to
suicidal ideation, drug abuse, prostitution
and many other problems. all rapists
should be castrated, marked on the face, labotomized
and/or executed.
adopt zero tolerance policies
toward violent crime?
allow illegals to serve in the military
to earn citizenship.
give troops, border patrol agents
and vets raises and
raise the minimum wage.
agree that the freedom to consent
to sex at age 14 legally in canada,
missouri, iowa, and s. carolina is an
abomination to be abolished. raise age
of sex consent to 18 in america.
call extremists terrorists instead of islamic...
investigate and prosecute kibbutzim pimps
and u.s. lawmakers who sodomize and abort
the children of us %26amp; israel. reduce aids. allow gay
marriage and outlaw promiscuous anal intercourse.
child molesters should be ,`,`,arked on the face,
tethered, castrated and given phrikken labotomies.
condemn and abolish legal minor sex, prostitution, child
abortion, mandatory idf service in israel and dissolve the
federal reserve. return to the gold standard. save the usa
and israel.
president bush - 202-456-1111
rep harman - 202-225-8220
sen harkin - 202-225-3254
rep boswell - 202-225-3806
sen specter - 202-224-4254
sen santorum - 202-224-6324
sen kennedy - 202-224-4543
sen kerry - 202-224-2724
rep paul - 202-225-2831
sen lugar - 202-224-4814
sen mccain - 202-224-2235
sen clinton - 202-224-4451
next spkr of the house
rep pelosi - 202-225-4965
http://congress.com
http://congress.org
